I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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