I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
