Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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