you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
