the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
