we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
