You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
