Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
