we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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