dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
