so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
