She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
