Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
