It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize