One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
