At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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