So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
