Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize