Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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