I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We left the knife in your bed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
