I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
