you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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