Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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