Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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