Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
