dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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