I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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