He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
