Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
