I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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