New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
