Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
