That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
