it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
