you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
