whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
