Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
