and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
