She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
