he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
