shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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