are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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