She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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