my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize