$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I have aggressive nipples.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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