If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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