Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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