Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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