dude i'm inner monologue high
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
