Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
