R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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