she told me i tasted like america
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
