I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
