Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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