Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize