I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
