As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she told me i tasted like america
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
