Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
