I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
