it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
