I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
